


happy sugar life

by animetrash1420



Category: Happy Sugar Life (Anime & Manga), 신의 탑 | Tower of God
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Trauma, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pedophilia, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Pedophilic Love, Yandere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:46:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27383659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animetrash1420/pseuds/animetrash1420
Summary: “There are many different flavors of love: strawberry, lemon, apple, mint… There are even poisonous ones…”“Taste it, swallow it, as long as there are some in the jar. When you run out, you add more; over and over again…”“That, Bam, is what love is to me.”
Relationships: Arlene Grace & Twenty-Fifth Baam | Jyu Viole Grace, Khun Aguero Agnis & Twenty-Fifth Baam | Jyu Viole Grace, Khun Aguero Agnis/Twenty-Fifth Baam | Jyu Viole Grace
Comments: 17
Kudos: 78





	happy sugar life

**Author's Note:**

> Feelings are sparkly, the present is sparkly.  
> You're my everything.  
> This sweet world almost becomes like a lie,  
> Let's erase everything, but not that.

⟳

I didn’t know.

I didn’t know what warmth felt like, what it meant to be kind, or what affection was. And above all, I couldn’t comprehend the concept of…

_ Love _ .

He was only seven years old when he was taught of love. A jar of candies was laid out in front of him.

“Bam,” Hands caressed the jar, nimble fingers twirling around it. “This is love.”

He stared at the assorted candy-filled jar of various colors and shapes decorating the transparent container. There were stars, spheres, cubes, and hearts; all of them looked appetizing, but the child frowned. “No, Mama. This is hard to eat…" 

He then dropped the jar, glass shattered on the floor. 

“This isn’t love.”

_ Love, love, love is different for every person. The way it shines is different.  _

Someone would knock on the door, and his mother would welcome them with a loving tone. She would bring the stranger into the apartment, and as she did, she would giggle in excitement. He would wait in the hallway, curious to know what his mother and the stranger would discuss. Then, he would overhear cries and shouts from the secluded room in the back. Aside from screams of pain, he would also hear... an indescribable sound that he couldn’t understand. 

When his mother would come back, she would be in a tattered mess. Long brown hair curled down, black dress was all torn up, her shoulder bitten all the way to her neck, and her smile. It was the one thing that never changed. She never stopped smiling.

“Mama, you’re hurt again… Are you alright?”

His mother would let out small giggles and soft laughs with a wide grin on her scratched face. “I’m okay. This is also love.”

Bam would stare at her as she reached out to the jar of candies, picking out a purple striped sphere.

“There are many different flavors of love: strawberry, lemon, apple, mint…” she would smile, holding the candy between bitten fingers. “There are even poisonous ones…”

“Taste it, swallow it, as long as there are some in the jar. When you run out, you add more; over and over again…”

And lastly, she then would hug Bam, wrapping her hands around his small body. “That, Bam, is what love is to  _ me _ .”

⟳

“Have you heard about the  _ Twenty-Fifth Bam _ ?”

A handsome brunet of mellow golden eyes, a Wolhaiksong High freshman, a typical teenager. He was quite a popular student, often getting asked out by countless women. However, he has a quirky attitude of sticking around with someone for 3 days, only to hang out with another after. 

But now, things were different.

“I am the Twenty-Fifth Bam,” he clasped his hands together. “I will work hard to adjust to the work quickly, so please take care of me!”

The crowd of coworkers clapped, most of them seemingly fawning over him. He smiled, bowing in turn to complete his introduction. He had just gotten a new job at a coffee shop. Its manager, Michael - as he remembered - caught his attention.

“You’re a big help, Bam,” he sighed in relief. “We’re short-staffed lately. We appreciate your presence.”

He was just as how his friend had told him. The manager had a friendly, welcoming smile on his face. Once he had made sure Bam was comfortable, he waved everyone off and bade them luck before proceeding to his office.

Just when he was about to work on the orders, a swarm of female coworkers surrounded him, offering to teach him about his tasks. It felt a little overwhelming for him, but he listened to everyone sincerely. For the rest of the day, he learned the basics of the machines, orders, and customer service, to which he adapted quickly.

When he came the next day, someone asked him out in the hallway.

The girl had straight black hair, decorated with a flower hairpin. Golden watched the genuine, captivated attitude of the girl. She was beautiful, crimson pink orbs gleaming in determination.

“Can you please go out with me…?”

He closed his eyes, slowly shaking his head in denial. “I’m sorry, but I’ve already fallen in love with someone…”

_ For the first time in his life, he had found someone to love. _

At his response, he saw the girl all flustered, red encompassing her entire face. With a teary-eyed expression, she fled, and Bam could hear the small sobs that escaped her as she left the hallway. 

From the shadows, yellow hair peeked out from the pillar, revealing Wangnan. “Bam, I saw you~” he mused, approaching Bam with an amazed face. Ja Wangnan, he was Bam’s best friend and the person who recommended him to work in the coffee shop. 

The brunet laughed sheepishly, hand over his nape. “Wangnan, you’re not supposed to peek on personal stuff like this,” he pouted.

Lemon eyes narrowed at his rebuttal. “It’s not even a secret that you fool around with a lot of people-” 

“Wait, you rejected her?? You won’t hang out with her-?”

Bam smiled ever so genuinely. “I’m done with that kind of thing... I fell in love.”

Wangnan stood frozen as he tried to process Bam’s words. With a shaky hand, he pointed his index finger at his best friend. This had to be a mistake. Right, just a slip of the tongue... “W-What happened to the ‘new girl every 3 days’ Bam I know-”   


“All gone! We’re already living together.” Bam grinned, which struck Wangnan with even more shock. He slumped against the carpeted floor of the hallway, still in disbelief. 

“The person you like must be even more beautiful than her…?”

“I guess…?”

An annoyed irk formed on Wangnan’s forehead. He sighed, a puff of breath hinting hopelessness and jealousy. “Hah, if only I was as handsome as you…”

Bam stared at the sulking Wangnan and exhaled. He then reached out a hand to his shoulder, patting it. “You’re quite handsome yourself, you know?”

Wangnan looked up, cheeks puffed up with a doubtful frown. “Really...?”

“Yeah.”

Yellow orbs glimmered in hope, and the next thing Bam knew, Wangnan hugged him tightly. “Bam, you’re so nice, I want to squeeze you so bad… Your lover really is lucky...”

_ No, Wangnan. I’m the lucky one. _

A soft laugh escaped from Bam’s throat. He had always been easy to encourage, not that it was a bad trait of his. Smiling, the tip of his finger tapped his lips. “It’s a secret, Wangnan. I’ve only told it to you.”

“I have to get home quickly…” he muttered, running across the hallway to the entrance. At the thought of his lover waiting for him at their shared apartment, he grinned happily. Running eventually turned to skipping as he fantasized about the warm welcome of his beloved. 

He paused.

At the corner of his eye, he spotted two silhouettes going in the direction of the manager’s office. Then he saw Yihwa with a troubled look on her face. The manager seemed concerned about her condition. For the past few days, Yihwa’s clumsiness went up to a degree in which most of their regulars already filed severe complaints. He cupped a hand over his mouth as he watched the manager bringing her in, closing the door with a quiet shut.

↡

He returned to his apartment, opening the lock with his key. It took him quite a while to unlock the three different locks, each of a different kind. As he turned the knob open, the door swung to reveal his lover and he smiled. A fluttering sensation bloomed inside him, replacing every fiber of distress into comfort.

Cobalt eyes shimmered under the apartment light, vivid as it meets Bam’s own golden ones. Short, silky sky-blue locks dressed up into a ponytail and bangs covered the forehead. The child hid his flushed cheeks under the long sleeves of his white shirt, and when he finally became comfortable, he greeted Bam with a warm, soft smile.

“Welcome home, Bam-nii!”

The small, petite boy rushed over to Bam, who instantly dropped his bag to reciprocate his hug. He melted at the sight of his loved one, missing the sweet, sweet, sweet sound of his dear Aguero. This boy was his everything. This was the person he… loved.

"You waited here for me… weren't you cold?" A soft questioning voice asked Aguero as he patted his hair. The boy nuzzled into his hand, shaking his head.

“No problem!” he snuggled in Bam’s warm embrace. “I wanted to greet you, Bam-nii…!”

_ This boy is my everything, Aguero.  _

He pulled Aguero closer to a tight hug and whispered sweetly in his ear. “Let’s take a bath together!” 

The five-year-old smiled, pulling Bam to the bathroom. “Let’s go!”

_ Aguero… I happened to come across him days ago. _

The water gurgled around them, the hot yet calming sensation of the liquid cleansing their bodies. Aguero sat comfortably between Bam, mouth submerged in the water as he watched the rubber duck float in front of him.

“Bam-nii… how does the rubber duck float?”

_ Aguero is smart… but he couldn’t understand the world well. _

_ He can’t really get the Archimedes Principle at this age…  _ He hummed to himself, then an idea popped into his head.

“You see, the water helps the duck float so that it can help the duck live.” he caressed the duck, slowly drifting away from them. Aguero looked at him with wide eyes. Wide cobalt-blue eyes that gleamed of waters and skies and everything nice. “Really…?”

“Then, then,” The child shifted away, facing Bam with a smile on his face. “I’ll be your hot water, Bam-nii! I’ll help you just like the little duckling!”

Bam felt his heart tighten and his cheeks flush from the sugary feeling that filled his stomach. Everything about Aguero was so pure, so sweet, and he couldn’t get enough from the pleasant feeling that enveloped his entire being. “I’ll accept your kindness…!”

_ Oh, my dearest Aguero... _

Silver tints of the moon’s light seeped in through closed windows of their shared space. Pillows, blankets, and towels surrounded the dim environment as the two smiled, ready for their tradition.

“This is my solemn vow,”

Aguero wrapped a blanket over Bam’s head, reminiscent of the white, lacey veil wrapped around the bride at a wedding. Bam felt his heart melt and melt and melt as he watched his dearest proceed with their vows.

_ This child has filled up my heart with shards of sweetness I have never experienced ever before. _

“In sickness and in health; for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; to love and to cherish; till death us do part… I will always care for Bam-nii.”

Under the blanket, Bam smiled ever so genuinely, only enraptured by the child who then leaned forward to peck a chaste kiss on his forehead, marking their sincere vows.

_ Certainly, this is the feeling that they call… love. _

⟳

“Bam, would you mind picking up some overtime shifts starting today?”

The crowd of part-timers and workers gathered around Michael, smiling as if it wouldn’t hurt for Bam to work late for the next few days. Bam stared blankly for a while.

“We don’t have enough staff nowadays after Yihwa said she wouldn’t come by anymore…” he sighed, tone hinting disappointment. Eyes then met Bam. “Couldn’t you say that it’s because of you?”

Bam tilted his head to the side. “...Pardon…?”

Michael shook his head. “Yihwa was crying, you know? Apparently, because you made him into a joke…”

Bam was unfazed by the fact. He clearly remembered how Yihwa ran away in the hallway, crying her tears out. He could hear murmurs and whispers from his coworkers who were gathering in small circles in the background.

“Isn’t it fair that you take on his responsibilities? Please, Bam. We need all the help we could get..”

He looked at the rest, avoiding his gaze on purpose. Michael looked like he wouldn’t let him get away with it either. He sighed. “Alright..”

The night when they closed that day, Bam stayed. He was barely alone, without any others left in the almost-dark store. He wiped the huge ketchup stain off a table, sweat trickling down his forehead. Just as he was finished taking out the trash and washing the dishes, his manager popped up out of nowhere and smiled. “Bam,”

“Might I trouble you to clean the girl’s bathroom and the lounge?”

He held the bucket grimly in his hand, witnessing the rolled out toilet paper soiled in the dirty water and on the bowl. Faint shoe marks plastered against the contaminated papers, water squeezed out on the floor. The rest of the cubicles were of the same condition: plain dirty.

The days passed by like that.

He scrubbed, he wiped, he threw, he ran. He obeyed, he cleaned, he stayed, he ran. He washed, he brushed, he endured… he ran.

And every time he would come, Aguero’s eyelashes had already fluttered close, bundled up in a blanket as he slept against the wall near the door. He waited for so long, and Bam would come to carry his cold, little body to the bed and sleep together.

The days passed by like that, and soon, he cracked.

After days of enduring and tolerating… and after a long day of work, he brought the child close to him, embracing him tightly.

_ This won’t do. _

↡

“Everyone worked hard today, congratulations! Please be careful with your paychecks!”

A chorus responded to the reminder before taking a peek at their checks. Bam folded the paper open, then called out their manager. He asked politely, “Um… Sir, may I speak with you for a moment?”

They eventually reached the office, where the manager works on his daily paperwork. He stood near the table, resting a part of his body on it. He raised his eyebrow in concern. “Was there a mistake…?”

Bam held out the paper to him. “The payment doesn’t match the number of hours I worked. There must be a mistake-”

“No, it’s correct.”

Bam stared quietly at his manager’s insistence. 

“You must have an idea of what I’m talking about.”

The younger male shook his head. “What idea? I worked very hard.” He watched his manager walk up to him with clenched fists, eyes directed dangerously. “Oh, that’s too bad, really..” He grasped Bam’s soft cheeks, pulling his chin up to meet his smile.

“Just because you’re handsome doesn’t mean you can get away with it,” Michael brushed his thumb near Bam’s hair, his nail almost piercing the unblemished skin. 

“I bet people went easy on you because you’re a chick magnet, but life isn’t that easy. You brought trouble to this place - that’s why your pay was cut.” He explained, closed eyes giving off an unsettling impression. Bam remained still and calm as Michael continued to push the nail slightly on his skin.

“There’s no problem if we cut your pay unofficially, right? Because...”

He smiled, lips creeping up into a wide grin. “This store is my beloved empire.”

“I’m the master!” he cried out. “I have no need for anyone who doesn’t  _ love  _ me, no matter who it is.”

In a suppressed rage, he pushed Bam toward the door, causing the teen to stumble a little before regaining his balance. He looked down, bangs covering his face. “Love…?”

A sinister yet gentle laugh erupted from the manager’s lips. “Yes, Bam. I love you too.”

Bam felt like he was about to puke. A strange, bitter feeling began to disrupt his stomach, pain accumulating as the word echoed in him infinitely. He hated it. He hated how adults twisted love: something she had discovered with Aguero… into a filthy mess of a monster.

A woman’s voice sparked in his mind. He reached out to massage his forehead with his hand, covering his eyes while doing so. The series of giggles and laughter began to replay in his head all over again as the woman smiled. It never escaped his mind.  _ “I’ll swallow any desire anyone gives me.” _

_ “That, Bam, is what love is to me.” _

After all that the manager had told him, Bam spoke with a hoarse, resonant tone. “I still can’t accept it because it’s so wrong…”

As his fingers split open, strained golden eyes shimmered, peeking into the small narrow path. Irises gleamed with stress, “You mustn't fool around with a minor.”

“Huh?”

“The day I turned down Yihwa, you brought her here. I saw you bring her into this room.” He declared, saying such a claim with a straight face. 

The manager pretended to remain confused and Bam could hear the subtle hesitation in his tone. “Enough with the false pretenses. You can’t just blackmail me.” he smiled.

“They’re hardly false,” Bam looked around the room. “There’s a damp smell in here that makes me want to vomit. A smell of you and Yihwa’s deeds. It’s so wrong of you… to swallow Yihwa’s feelings like that.”

Michael looked evidently offended. “Huh? Enough of your-”

“Then, I’ll just have to ask Yihwa directly.”

A scoff escaped from his employer. “Well, you can’t even do that..”

“Why not?” Bam stared lifelessly. “I can.”

His eyes darted to the cabinet, which prompted an alarmed reaction from his manager. The storage was big enough for a human to fit inside, and plus... he couldn’t bear to ignore the foul smell that came from it. Bam took a step forward. 

“The nice, welcoming manager is going to be charged with sexual misconduct.” He stepped forward a bit more, forcing Michael to move back to his table, bumping against it. “Can Your Majesty be able to endure being looked upon?”

The manager slapped his hand against the table in a fit of rage, which erupted a loud slam. “You little brat! Is that any way to speak to an adult?!”

“How come you’re losing it over a little brat..? Are you jealous that instead of you, a child has caught everyone’s interests?” Bam asked, dead eyes trying to pry a reasonable answer out of the adult. To his demise, there was none.

Michael completely lost it. “Of course, it did! You were supposed to love me, but Yihwa said she loved you, so I taught her of my love! I made sure to thoroughly teach his body too-”

He paused, looking in between the opening between his legs. There was his phone, perfectly capturing every shout he cried out. Bam watched the video, an expressionless face observing every second. “What an outburst… Maybe I’ll upload this somewhere…”

“Y-You... Are you threatening me?” Michael gritted his teeth. “Are you trying to take down my kingdom!?”

Bam sighed. “I don’t care about it. It really didn’t matter… but why didn’t you control yourself?” he asked, his voice sounding so strained. “I controlled myself. I did overtime and did my work because it was my job.” 

“...I don’t think anything you said is love, because love is something you feel without anyone telling you to.” He clasped his phone, remembering his sweet Aguero, who never forced him to love but gave him the ability to love. Soft blues covered his vision, only thinking about him.

He then frowned, looking at his manager with such eyes that were on the verge of breaking. “Something bitter as teaching her and asking it in return… that’s not love.”

The manager held onto the table, a pained expression fresh on his face. Bam could see the hatred, anger, fear, and anxiety blending in clenched fists. It felt so bitter, so pungent, he was slowly losing his control. But, he sucked it up, trying to retain his calm demeanor. “It’s okay. I won’t destroy anything.”

“Just pay me what I’m owed, okay?”

⟳

“Bam-nii! Welcome home!”

All the bitterness dwelling in his heart disappeared in a flash as he saw the familiar blue locks and his beloved Aguero greeting him late at night. He rushed over to him, putting away his bag before pulling Aguero into a hug. “I’m back!”

There were barely any lights on at this time of night, but Aguero was awake and energetic. He gave Aguero small strokes of his finger against his back. “It’s so late, but you haven’t gone to bed?”

“Yeah-!,” the child smiled. His eyes squeezed shut as he moved his head as if he wanted to erase his thoughts. “I didn’t want to fall asleep without being able to say ‘Welcome Back!’..”

Bam felt fuzzies at his words. “Aguero…” Without any other words, he simply buried his head into the comfortable smell of Aguero’s hair. He caressed it, feeling the sickly sensation in his stomach go away with ease.

_ I love you, Aguero. _

↡

_ I had never loved anyone. _

He relished in Aguero’s peaceful sleeping face, snoring from staying up too late. After making sure he tucked the child nicely, he left him and went his way to the bathroom. 

_ I have never known what love is. _

He put a finger to his lips. “I guess I don’t need to get another job… We already have enough-”

Bam paused. He looked at the locked door looming over him, the room untouched for several days. He got the keys, pulling them out of his pocket. 

_ I’ve heard a lot of people telling me what love is in hushed voices. _

The door creaked open, his long shadow stretching across the room. 

_ But I still didn’t understand. No matter what I heard, no matter what I did, I couldn’t feel it… but now, it’s different. _

With careful movements, he gently closed the door, not wanting to disturb Aguero in his sleep. 

_ Aguero has shown me love. What I didn’t find from other girls, I found in Aguero… and later on, he will surely teach me more and more about this beautiful love of his. _

“This place is so great. Thank you so much!”

It was a room filled with art materials. Around the corner of the room sat a canvas stand and several boxes surrounded it. The canvas and artworks were covered in a white sheet, leaving only books and its shelf exposed. 

There was a cleaver knife on the ground. There were three identical bags, all tied up into a ribbon by his own school ties. There was also a bucket beside those bags.

All of those items were explicitly tarnished with blood that wasn’t his.

Bam approached the wall, where a poster was taped onto it. He ripped it off and stared at the missing sign of Khun Aguero Agnis. With a sincere smile, he threw it next to the bags, slumping against the door.

_ To guard this feeling, I must build a fortress that won’t let love escape… to have the fortune to live with Aguero. It’ll be the world’s sweetest castle. _

“Hello, happy sugar life…”

**Author's Note:**

> Say wow, emotions of laughing.  
> I don't need gray feelings, right now...  
> Let's sing of our love.  
> From within this room, we'll surely become cheerful.
> 
> Happy Sugar Life is a Japanese psychological thriller manga series written and illustrated by Tomiyaki Kagisora. 
> 
> I like a Bam that this kind of yandere: a yandere who simply wishes to escape from sexual love and find purity in platonic love... please don't attack me.
> 
> feel free to scream at me on twitter? [ xalia | animetrash1420 ](https://twitter.com/AnimeTrash1420)


End file.
